An Adoption Story

inked by Lindsay

It’d be a little narcissistic to think that anyone missed our blogging, so I’m not going to apologize for the hiatus, but I will explain why we haven’t posted in a few months. It’s a good reason, I promise. :)

Two months ago, Chris and I were contacted out of the blue about an opportunity to adopt a baby girl. We were initially shocked, but we knew this was orchestrated by God and we wanted to at least explore the opportunity. Long story short, we worked with an agency to start and finish our home study in a little over two weeks, and then we waited for the birth. When we got the call, we went to the hospital and met our precious baby and waited a little more. We brought her home on a Thursday afternoon and became her parents on the following Friday afternoon. We are completely and totally in love with her!

We laugh when we think about how little we knew and understood about adoption two months ago as compared to our understanding today. We had NO idea what we were getting into and the emotional rollercoaster that the following months would bring. I won’t go into many details about our sweet girl’s birth or time at the hospital, but I will say that it was the most exhilarating and life-changing week of my life. We never could have fully prepared for it, and we are still recovering from it.

Even though I didn’t give birth to our sweet baby, I feel like I gave birth, just without the physical ramifications. Our social worker said this is normal, and referred to it as an “emotional labor.” I really can’t describe it any better than that. The tirade of emotions we felt at the hospital and bringing our baby home have subsided, and now we’re processing the joy (and sleeplessness) of being new parents.

And let me tell you, this is what we were made for. As I rock our bright-eyed newborn in the wee hours of the morning, I am so overwhelmed with love and contentment. She is the absolute love of our lives.

I’ll back up a little further and tell you about how the adoption came about. Chris and I have dealt with infertility for the last year and a half. We started fertility treatments last summer, and after a failed attempt we were emotionally drained and frustrated. Our official diagnosis is unexplained infertility. I was downright angry. Angry at God, angry at my body, angry at every pregnant woman I saw, angry at the world. I felt overlooked and completely abandoned by God.

But oh my goodness, friends, our God is good. Only He could take the ugliness and deep pain of infertility and transform it into the most beautiful, redemptive story. Only He could took my angry, bitter heart and fill it with love, contentment, and joy.

In September, you might recall that we took a family trip to the beach. On our last day there, Chris and I took a long walk and talked about our hopes and dreams for family and if they’d ever be realized. We cried together about our frustration towards the failed fertility treatments and decided to start praying about adopting. We had always been interested in adopting since we first starting dating, but never imagined pursuing adoption so soon in our marriage.

Chris didn’t know this at the time, but as we prayed for guidance in whether or not to pursue adoption, I prayed specifically that God would open a completely unexpected door to adopt. After trying to get pregnant, I wasn’t sure that I had the emotional stamina to wait years to adopt, and I was praying for a miracle.

And God provided. Just one month later we received the call about our sweet girl. Two months later we had her in our arms. Simply miraculous– I’ve never witnessed such a blatant answer to prayer.

Last year was the hardest of my life. Each month was another reminder of our failed attempts to conceive. Another reminder of a God who overlooked me.

But God had other plans. He blessed us with the most perfect gift, and through the adoption of our precious daughter, my faith has been completely transformed. Our adoption journey has taught me so much about my adoption in Christ. God views me as an heir to His kingdom– He loves me as much as His son. I never comprehended this– in fact, I doubted His love for me. Our daughter has opened my eyes to God’s love for me and best of all, His love for our daughter. We have been redeemed.

Although the holidays have come and gone, I know the celebrations and weeks to follow are a painful time for so many, and friends, I completely relate to those who dread the family gatherings and can only dread another year of loss. I pray that you will experience God’s redemption and His unending love for His children. Even in our frustration, pain, and unfulfilled expectations, His love and His promises are true. Praise God– He is the Father to the fatherless!

Please join us in welcoming our new bundle of joy to the family– our best gift ever. :)IMG_1454

37 thoughts on “An Adoption Story

  1. Lindsay, I have so much I could say to you about this and I hope that we will be able to talk at length more in the future! I had not heard your “why” story, and now it all makes sense. Such an awesome story and I am so excited for you both! Let me just say this, just Sunday night, I had the opportunity to use my adoption story for a “cardboard testimony” at our church Vision Night. God will use this in so many ways!

    • Thank you, Sandy! I can’t wait to hear more about your story. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with how our daughter will process her adoption story, so I know hearing your story and experience will help!

  2. Lindsey, I’m gasping for air as I try to read through tears. I’ve had to re-read many of your sentences because of the teary blur. Oh how I wish I would have known so I could haved loved on you and prayed, but God knew the way. Even a person of deep deep faith needs to see God move sometimes. God is, was and will always be a miracle maker. Your cries were not lost. In true southern spirit, I say “I just want to hug your neck”! He has given you the desire of your heart and know you are glorifying Him, all the way He planned. She was born in your heart!

    • Thank you, Christina! I get choked up every time I rock her to sleep. Having her feels so normal now, and it’s hard to remember the details of how she came to us and the journey that led us to her. I’m glad I documented some of the details here, and I’m so thankful for God’s grace that got me through last year. I’m not sure I would have survived it otherwise! Love and miss you.

  3. Lindsay, thank you so much for your honesty and sharing this beautiful story with us! Thankful for your faith and setting an example of what it means to pray fiercely! Your little babe has no idea how absolutely blessed she is to have you and Chris as parents! I’m overwhelmed for you and excited to watch this new adventure unfold! Lots of love!

  4. Having birthed 4-10 pound baby boys…I can tell you adoption is exactly the same experience…The joy.the love.the gratefully beautiful new life of wonderment in your arms Your story is beautiful and I felt your blessing scream through it…CONGRATULATUONS…God is good!!

    • Thank you, Jill! You were one of the few people who knew before we brought her home:) Your print in her nursery is so special to us. Thank you for your encouragement!

  5. Ok, not usually the “blog reading” person, especially one’s that appeal more to ladies, but the word “adoption,” and the fact that I thought I recognized a few people in your picture (Wow, you all have grown up) caught my eye. Your story is our story…Congrats! I will pass this along to my wife and let her cry as she holds our (now three year old) adopted baby girl.

  6. I was sent here by Andrea, your aunt! I’m an adoptive momma too (of 2 children) and loved this post so much! Congratulations on your beautiful bundle of joy!

  7. Oh sweet Lindsay – I popped by the blog on a whim to see what the Neal ladies are up to, and I’m so glad I did. I have a similar story and it’s always heartwarming to hear about others’ happy endings :) I am so very happy for you and Chris, and for your beautiful daughter — wishing you all the best for what is sure to be a fabulous new year!

    • Thank you, Alison! I’d love to share stories sometime. Infertility is the worst and I don’t think anyone can fully understand it till they go through it. I even get anxious now when I think about providing a sibling for our daughter, but then I remind myself to enjoy this gift and live in the here and now. Happy new year to you as well!

      • I’m sorry I’m so bad at remembering to follow-up on comments… but I would love to get together sometime! I’m sure life is hectic for you with a newborn, but let me know when you’d like to meet up! I hope all is going well for the Beals family :)

  8. Dear Lindsay.
    What a beautiful testimony of God’s love, grace, and how He uses everything as a teaching!! I am so happy and excited for you both. My favorite job has always been, being a mom!! I know you will love and enjoy every moment. May God continue to bless you all!
    Love, Cindy

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  11. This is incredible & all so familiar! I too am an Adoptive Momma! Our stories sound so similar… Not planning to adopt, yet. We had 1 week to plan for our son! Those home studies are vigorous! :) but I too felt I had given birth to Jeremiah when we brought him home from the hospital. And I can tell you, even 3 years later, I forget he’s even adopted :) you’ll find that your sweet angel will resemble your family, as only God could have orchestrated! Congrats to your precious family! :)

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